Courtesy is a sign of dignity, not subservience

What is courtesy ?

Courtesy or in other words politeness which is bestowed up by good - breeding, is an ornament  for any individual. If someone asks what the most befitting of courtesy, the most suitable answer that can be given is, courtesy means the respect that is shown to others by members of a society. People can beautify their living environment by speaking and treating others respectfully. The words or phrases like "please", "thank you", "I'm sorry", "I apologize you" have been embedded within a language for the usage of cultured and courteous people. Everyone loves to be spoken courteously. But, unfortunately, most people tend to use brawn - power in most of the occasions where they are expected to be courteous which is a sign of their feeble stupidity believing that politeness is inferior. So, the idea - "politeness is a sign of dignity, not subservience" need to be cultivated in the minds of the people.

"GRATITUDE ISTHE MOST EXQUISITE FORM OF COURTESY"                                                                                                                   Jacques Maritain

Why do we need to be courteous ?

It was came to light that, how severe the problems of conflicts which happen world - wide with introducing 'Conflict-Resolution' as a subject in Sri Lankan universities. Therefore, disciplined and polite behavior is essential and it must be an object of education as well, because if this will start to be taught in schools eventually the students will learn how to be polite in certain situations. As a result, a new generation with the quality of politeness can be harvested in the near future.

On the other hand, the violence or the conflicts in a society can be reduced as soon as possible, if all are get used to speak in this manner. Also,  tolerating others' ideas, allowing the other person to speak, listening to others, bearing others' infirmities neglecting one's own self ego considering human lapses are common are valuable characteristics of a courteous person. Any person should have the courage to bear- up others' ideas although he doesn't agree with.  Being courteous is the path which led the way to a friendly environment with less sorrow 

How can we improve courtesy?

Childhood is the ideal age to install courtesy in the minds of people. Children of courteous, cultured parents exhibit these qualities in their childhood itself. Such children are indeed like fragrant flowers blooming in the morning, and they help to make the world more beautiful and pleasant to live in. 

So, it is important to exclude callousness, aggressiveness, and teasing words from children, and, instead of them cultivate politeness and courtesy. Also, people must borne in mind that, forbearance, conversing meekly with a friendly smile are not subservience, but, are strong bonds that enhance unity, friendliness and harmony within people. If all start to think in this way, consequently, we can make the world we will in  a better and glorious one.

 

                 Move on, let go, and get over it.

                      

            

                  

          If someone ask me, if a song can give us an experience we have never had before I would definitely say yes, because there is one song that always makes me feel heartbroken, though I am not really. Every single time when Toni Braxton’s voice is heard with the song,” unbreak my heart” I really Feel alienated, and question myself, where do I go from here.  Diane Warren: The songwriter, has employed her word power to bring out a blistering heartbreak to which Toni Braxton gives life through her melancholic voice. The song is about a woman who is going through a breakup, and she begs her former lover to return and undo the pain he caused. 

                                                               Unbreak my heart

                                                              Say you’ll love me again

                                                            Undo this hurt you caused,       She is pleading for the man who left her to come back. Indeed, she presents her life as stagnant without him, and begs him to unbreak her heart with the sweet address, ‘I love you’. She keeps on lamenting and convincing the idea that the only way her heart will be mended is his return. Despite the fact the song is well sung, I do not agree with the message conveyed through it. It is true that the period after breakup is really a painful one, but according to my point of view, I do not believe that someone should let the whole life be manipulated by the above feeling. We know that roses lose their pedals, but they bloom again. likewise, we should turn it to our own advantage and keep going with more strength than earlier.

            We all know that nothing can be done without giving an effort. As in this case it is you who are responsible to decide should I deal with the breakup grief staying stuck in isolation and pain or should I move forward. As I interpret things, I do not believe that we should give it the power to ruin all our goals by continuously begging and lamenting over it. Don't let that feeling occupy your consciousness. Even though the woman in the song  asks to, “take back the sad word  goodbye and bring back the joy to my life”, “If you are brave enough to say goodbye life will reward you with a new hello”.  

             every dark cloud has a silver lining; breakup is not an exception too. Thus, makes it a chance to discover your independence and keep moving and trying to be your best solo self. Trying to understand the fact that a heart loaded with the feeling of failure and sorrow may block the path towards your dreams, will speed up the process of working for your own goodness without letting yourself to be invaded by frustration. Although the woman mourns saying, “Without you I just can't go on", nothing in the world is impossible. The only thing that you should do is investigating your inner strengths. Then, you will realize that you just defeated only from love not from your whole life.

                You might have set aside many beautiful things of your life chasing love. So, stop being frustrated, and start doing all you want to achieve. End that sorrowful chapter with a full stop and begin your life with a new one which will later make you really proud of your strength in facing the reality of life.

       “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”

 

  

 

Violence and Corruption in the eye of "Usaviya Nihadai"

 If we take today's society into consideration, it is amply noticeable that it is rampant with violence and corruption. Every nook and corner of the country is corrupted and is filled with violence. As always happen, the poor is suffering while the other side is taking advantage. Almost all the fields; education, health, police, prison and key government positions have been corrupted. The very institutions that are supposed to uphold social values violate those social norms, and victimize the very innocent that are expected to be safeguarded by the agencies of law enforcement.

The Sinhala documentary film by a veteran film-maker Prasanna Vithanage, "Usawiya Nihadai" ( the Court is silent) is woven around the corruption and violence that take place in the judiciary system in Sri Lanka. The film exposes the fact that an accused (the magistrate) that should be incarcerated for twenty years on charge of rape is at large to date by virtue of his influence in the legal circles. Also, the film finally reveals how an inhuman culprit in the guise of a judge escapes all his sins scot free with the connivance of the then Chief-Justice of Sri Lanka.

The film has focused on the decadence of social values and it raises awareness among the film-goers of the evils of the society we live in. Through this, the intention of the producer has been to make Sri Lankan audience more mature on such instances of social injustice, and educate the public on certain human rights violations. Moreover, this film, "Usawiya Nihadai" seems to have convinced that our society has a long trudge to march to achieve a decent society for our children to live in peace without being harassed, and for this right thinking citizens should throw their weight in to the process of civilizing society.

Apart from that, the heroine of the plot, the wife of goldsmith who was victimized in the hands of injustice by the persons who are expected to uphold social values, exemplifies the heroic mettle of the feminine gender. Indirectly, through the character of this woman the producer tries to tempts everyone wronged to rise against such injustices and reform society.

So, it is clear that, this film, "Usawiya Nihadai" is a significant masterpiece to portray the desert of moral decadence of the prevailing society. Also, it brings out how certain political parties, power and other outside sources can effect to increase the violence and corruption in a society. It is the responsibility of law abiding citizens to put on their weight to decrease such violence and help to redress the society.

THE ANSWER.

 

 

THE ANSWER.

 I came out from home with my morning tea and what I saw at first glance is a couple of birds who are bringing food alternatively for their child-birds and feed them. After few seconds, I saw another flock of feathers collecting warms and seeds in the ground. Nothing reminds me except the question that how human beings make their simple life so complex.

As just a kind of living beings we ourselves are following the same routine and our primary necessities are also foods, shelter and air just as for those birds; but see the way we make it harder to approach those primary necessities. For example, a bird will fly approximately one or two miles for finding foods or ingredients of their shelter. In contrast see how human beings make this distance lengthier. From the day we attend to our per-school, till we get out from the school, for what we are working for? for what we all working for among the loads of assignments in University? You may say definitely for having a better job in the near future; but when you see that closer you will understand that how human beings struggle to achieve the same necessities for years.   

The most sarcastic thing is the way we are wishing support from the technology for the problems which we ourselves made, making our lives more complex. In brief, after making ourselves complex, we create another system call ‘technology’ to solve those problems and under the process of technology also, there will be another set of problems derived. Thus, what matters if we had not made ourselves complex from the beginning? I do not think that we can live in society as simple as those birds but this is nice to recall the unnecessary complexity which we ourselves have created among ourselves departing from simplicity.

Definitely you may say that although birds are seeming to live freely and lightly, they are in a fear of being victims of other creatures in every moment;but don't you think that as human beings our lives are also unpredictable with the diseases, road accidents, human hunters etc. In fact, human lives are also attached with death in anytime.

As I think uncountable ideologies which are created in human mind make human lives so complex. Once you create an ideology that you are in a ‘high class’ of this society you have to use and follow typical human habits with more added features which are recognized as the culture of ‘high class’. Thus, for the sake of highlight or differentiate from others in society, people used to build such ideologies giving values for unnecessary things in life. Under that, again human beings tangle in problems making their lives complex. Thus, again I am emphasizing that HOW BRAINY IF WE HAVE BEEN REMAINING SIMPLE FROM THE BEGINNING?

In order to think about the simplicity of life this comparison will be sufficient. You may question me pointing that it is the human being who are greater than animals because of the brain capacity and that is why they are being so ‘civilized manner’; but what I have to say for such questions is, if we have such ‘masterminds’ why they make our lives so complex unless making it simple and isn’t that the utmost goal of civilization? Now it is visible that SIMPLICITY is the answer for the human kind who are panting because of tiresome complex lifestyle. 

 

Do you suffer from exam stress?

 

As students in university of Kelaniya, all of us know how we suffer from the exam stress right now , because of the unfortunate postponement of our exams for both first and the second semesters That is because, we all know that we have to study for both semesters at one time. In such a situation, if the administration posts a new notice that the exams will be postponed again, how the students can bear it up. As a result, students tend to be stressed over their exams. 

At first, what is stress? 

Simply stress stress is a state of physical, mental, or emotional factor that may lead to physical, or mental illness resulting from demanding circumstances. Among them, examination stress can be recognized as one of the major problems of students. Accordingly, exam stress plays a vital role on physical and mental well- being of students, causing negative impacts on academic progress and mental health. Sometimes, students tend to stay alone by even refusing to maintain interpersonal relationships with their family members as well as the external society. Stress may common to almost all the students including school children, college/ university students, or any other academic students. 

  what are the possible causes for exam stress?

In many cases, exam stress results from pressure and competition from the peer groups, family society, and even the teachers. Probably, a little stress around exam time can be a good thing, as it motivates students to put more effort on their work. But, most of the time, stress level of students goes beyond the limit and it will definitely be a negative influence. Although it is common among students, it becomes a problem when they lack time to prepare and focus. Then, they become poor in their academic performances. Therefore, it leads to major dropouts like mental illness, and suicide attempts among students. Students often feel stressed when preparing for an examination due to the pressure from school and family because of the constant competition and comparison with peer groups and good performers. Most of the parents try to compare their child with other clever students in his or her classroom. I believe that, it will be a huge pressure for students. Because, each student acquire knowledge in diversified levels. Some students may show a good academic success while some others show an average, or a low academic success. It is the common nature, and even scientifically it is proven that the ability to grasp the knowledge is relative to each human being. Then, students should not be given a pressure and should not be criticized by comparing them with others. Because, those criticisms and comparisons make students panic about their exams. Usually, parents force children to study with no relaxation time, and it will surely make students panic, feel neglected, and eventually, they collapse emotionally. Under this pressure, when students are unable to fulfill the expectations of their parents and due to the pressure from the society to be best, they tend to lack their self- confidence, and also start to suffer from depression and other mental problems. On the other hand, the excessive work load make them to be stressed on their exams. 

Ultimately, it is obvious that, examinations, which is a part of student's academic life become a burden to some students, when they are not able to manage them. So, I believe that, the educational departments, schools, parents, and even students should come together for a better strategy to gain sustainable academic achievements with no any stress. 

Recognizing Our Mistakes Helps Us Forgive Others

Everyone makes mistakes. Throughout our life, we will have to forgive more than once, and sooner or later we will also need someone to forgive us. Recognizing our mistakes is essential. It is said that true love is demonstrated in three key moments: in failure, in sickness and in forgiveness. If you cannot forgive, that person means less to you than your pride. 

Looking at our mistakes from our personal perspective, we tend to justify ourselves or seek excuses to let us act the way we act. But when others hurt us, we attribute the same facts to their personality. Isn’t it strange that we see intention in something that was fortuitous? This leads to an emotional disturbance that distances us from forgiveness.

Recognizing our mistakes drives us away from being little tyrants, justifying everything we do but passing judgement when others do the same. To forgive is not only a gesture toward another, but also the most noble gesture toward oneself. 

Those who do not know how to forgive do not know what it is to truly love.

Forgiving others also benefits us

All of us at some point have been in the position of having to forgive or be forgiven. They and we have both done things that cause damage, whether consciously or unconsciously. The conception that we have of forgiveness is somewhat distorted. 

We may think that if we forgive someone, we are justifying the person who hurt us, or we think that to forgive is to forget, to downplay what happened, to resign, to give something to someone else. But this could not be further from the truth. Forgiveness is for us and no one else. 

To forgive does not mean that we no longer care about the damage we have suffered, or that we have to behave as though nothing happened. It means that we accept what happened as part of our life and we leave aside the negative feelings and thoughts in order to move forward.

If we do not forgive, we will still be tied to that person in a harmful and toxic way. Freeing ourselves from these negative emotional attachments leaves room for the new emotions and experiences we have yet to live.

Those who do not forgive the small defects of others will never enjoy their great virtues.

–Khalil Gibran–

Forgive anyone who must be forgiven

There are different positions regarding forgiveness and who should or should not be forgiven. The first and most widespread position is that which perceives forgiveness as essential for the healing of emotional wounds and highlights how beneficial it is to practice forgiveness for physical and mental health.

The second has a different view of forgiveness. It considers that in some cases, not forgiving also is beneficial, since doing so can be harmful to those who forgive and can put vulnerable groups at risk, as in the case of abuse or mistreatment.

 The third stance comes into play when you realize there is really no one to forgive. At some point, you realize that the situations that happen to you are no one’s fault; it’s just the way life is.

According to Dr. Schlatter, forgiveness benefits the forgiver rather than the recipient and does not necessarily require the repentance of the doer.

Forgiveness is only learned in life when we in turn need to be forgiven.

–Jacinto Benavente–

Cartoons + Childhood

 

😍

               Instead of diverse activities and sports in the past, in the current society, cartoons are associated with the childhood. The time children spend in front of the television today has increased for various reasons. On the other hand, electronics also has become a part of our lives. In General, children are curious and passing time only in kindergarten/school and at home, the child’s thirst for knowledge does not quench. Therefore, children persuade to spend more time on TV.

Researchers at the University of Michigan, Kaila Brooks and Brash Bushman have found that,

• 2-5 years old children watch cartoon 32 hours a week.
• 6-11 years old, 28 hours.
• 71% of children aged 8-18 years have a separate TV set.
• 53% of children aged 7-12 are watching TV without parental supervision. 

 

Do cartoons have positive or negative impact on children’s brain ?

Positive impact-: Among the positive effects, scientists distinguish auxiliary role of cartoons : education of children, additional information about the world and interesting environment. Cartoon content could teach a kid some positive skills. For instance; how to be a good leader, analyze problems and manage risk. Also cartoons support to teach children the rules of behavior in the society (respect for adults, help the poor ) and enrich the vocabulary (by watching cartoons in a foreign language).Mostly children receive the pure content of good messages and correctly adapt them.

 

Negative impact-: More research has been done to clarify the negative effects of cartoons on the behavior of children. Scientists mainly distinguish health damage, harsh behavior and sexuality symptoms. On the other hand, a cartoon character with a negative attitude and demeanor who appears on screen as a hero can illustrate a child who distorts his/her understanding of the  life and surroundings. Therefore, supervision of parents is essential to overcome these situations.

 

Recall your childhood, have you ever experienced such types of situations ?👀

Share them with us by leaving a comment below…

Always online

 

The short film, "A social life" shows  how people are addicted to social media and how people undergo social media depression. The  girl here always stay online adding likes, comments , sharing her daily routine and searching for feedback. She is addicted to social media. She begins her day with social media platforms, spend whole day with it and ends her day with it. It seems she has a good job, wants to stay fit and she really works hard but social media obstructs her way, stopping the way to gain real happiness. She gains happiness from social media. Her happiness depends on likes and  comments on Facebook. She shares every minute detail unnecessarily in social media which is bad. At last,  she understands the problem with her life and stop taking the way to misery.

Do we really need social media to stay happy? Not really. Young people think that  social media is  an essential part in their lives.People mock at the ones who do not use social media. Mostly youngsters use Facebook and Instagram and  they post everything they do. Don’t you think that social media ruin your life? The thing is that you are not aware that it is ruining you. It is proved that people spending more time on Facebook have higher depression level  than people who spend less time on Facebook. So, how many hours you spend in Facebook? Are you depressed? Most of the time, people cannot get their eyes from them. They spend hours commenting and sharing what they do. In a program, the inventor of Facebook; Mark Zuckerberg was asked “would you be comfortable sharing with us the name of the hotel you stayed in last night?” and he answered “No” then why would us? Social media indeed waste your time, money , destroy your relationships and even destroy your life. Stop for a moment and think. People are addicted to them. The creators  create those social media in order to addict people. Nowadays, those social media companies  hire individuals called attention engineers and they borrow principles from casino and gambling to make those platforms addictive. In a program, the researchers  discuss the fact that the use of social media and cellphones releases a chemical called dopamine and they highlight that it is the same chemical makes people feel good when smoking, drinking and gambling. So, it is predictable that social media is highly addictive. It creates stress and in other way round people again use social media to cope with stress. Why do you think people use social media? May be to show off, to know what others do and may be someone really searches for happiness. Anyways, one cannot get real happiness through them. Unfortunately, children also get connected with them with the Covid 19 situation and parents worry about their children’s lives.How can  children  manage  it in a world even adults  cannot get rid of them. 

The process of Facebook or Instagram is like you add profile picture or posts, others like them and comment. People really feel bad when they do not get any positive feedback. Early morning, they searches for new notifications saying someone liked your photo. You begin to compare yourself with others. Others go to luxury hotels and do everything and you feel like you lack them, beginning to think that you are unlucky. You are mentally depressed at the moment. But it is a social lie. They do not spend time happily as how they look in their posts. They do not show the UNFILTERED truth behind their lives.

 I personally do not use Facebook but I do have an Instagram account but I make myself aware that I do not overuse it.On the other hand, one can use these social media platforms to do good to the society. But no one recommends the overuse of social media. Indeed, staying “always online” will ruin your life.

To all the Williams and Louisas amidst millions of Alicias and Patricks......

Here’s the story of all of us….. How do you really like to feel when your loved one is around you? It is not judged through the gifts you receive, things they do, places they take you to- but with the real emotions mingled with love.

Will who has spent a very happy marriage life with Alicia and currently divorced, rich to the top level, having a very attractive appearance – but physically paralyzed due to an accident took place years back, was taken care by Louisa Clerk hired by Will’s mother.

What is the truth relatable to us?

That doesn’t have to be exactly Louisa Clerk or Will Trainer, but let’s take it to our level. Why are we building our nests in another person? The answer is totally because we feel safe, comfortable and loved by them.

But do we really feel what we need to feel?

Most of us don’t. William who was the husband to Alicia, was abandoned after he met up with the accident and got paralyzed, and therefore Alicia built her home in another person, Rupert. At the mean time Patrick, boyfriend to Louisa, doesn’t care what she really needs to be felt with him. But lately the care taker, Louisa was found amazingly

Isn’t this the reality? Broken glasses cannot mend…

Do we really care how the other person would feel because of the things we say or do? Do we really bother that the other person would feel bad because of the things we say or do? isn’t that the common lack that we all have within nowadays relationships that pave it’s way to endless heart breaks and emotional break downs? But we may find that missing piece within another person when we become so late. So that accordingly we get no choice rather than repenting.

But I say NO!

Because even if we found that missing piece within another person, do we really get that attitude that other than leaving the person, compromising and discussing will lighten its way to the threshold of new beginnings?

So let’s not try to search our missing pieces within others, let’s try to find it within our own loved ones. Listen well, watch and observe the other person well, then you’ll feel the magical feeling called “love”. If you found a Louisa, try to be a William to her and if you found a William try to be a Louisa to him. Don’t ever be a Patrick or a Alicia.

Those who have watched “Me before you” will understand the magical story behind what I’ve told. 
So that I should say, 
In lots of lover’s lives today there is a William or a Louisa, 
Or else there have been one,
Or else you have missed that William or Louisa at some point.