Do I Have A Crush Or Is It Real Love?
The simple answer is that no one can define whether a relationship is if real love or infatuation without first considering these three questions:
How does this relationship make you feel?
How does the other person feel?
How likely is it that the two of you can sustain this relationship over the long term?
Infatuation is often characterized as romantic feelings that are not necessarily rooted in a desire for a long-term, deep connection. For example, if you're infatuated with or crushing on someone, it’s possible you're mainly interested in a physical relationship with them. You may realize that you have nothing in common, or that there is only a one-sided attraction. Infatuation generally has less to do with the actual person you are crushing on and more to do with fantasy and your ideal version of that person. You may find that when you develop feelings of infatuation you are seeking attention and contact with your crush in order to meet unmet emotional needs. Talking to a therapist can help to build self-awareness so that you can more readily recognize your own emotional needs so that you are able to meet a possible partner in healthy ways.
When you get to know someone new, you may see that they're not the person you thought they were. We tend to idealize people according to what we want and what we crave in our own lives. It's safe to say then that most people who develop crushes, regardless of their age, are projecting to some extent. Sometimes we may find ourselves "in love" with an idea rather than the reality of who a person is. Before we really get to know someone, we can fall for who we want or hope them to be, or an image of them instead of who they actually are. When we have a crush on someone, we are more focused on what the person or relationship will do for us and put less emphasis on the balanced give and take that makes for a strong relationship. Someone who is infatuated with another person sees an image of that person rather than the totality of all that they are, a person with strengths and weaknesses.
On the other hand, love is characterized by a deep caring about another person, an unselfish type of love. You support the other person, you work together to solve problems, and you stand by each other in good times or bad. When love is involved, you see the positive qualities your partner may possess and also their weakness. You don't see a one-sided image of them, but all of who they are. Love is not only a feeling but a behavior. True love requires patience and sacrifice. Even in the happiest and healthiest relationships, the exciting and exhilarating feelings that accompany a crush are not always present. What remains present, however, is commitment, care, and dedication needed to nurture the relationship.
Yes,absolutely!I quite agree with your notion about love and crush.A crush can be described as a very strong attraction towards someone;it is infatuation for a very short period of time.Mostly a crush is based on a person's appearance or some particular behavior.I think it is short-lived.But love is long lasting,it can keep two people together for a lifetime.No matter how perfect or how faulty the object of love is ,they are always loved by the one who loves.
ReplyDeleteI think most people have mistaken the terms love and crush. There is a big difference. Crush is short lived and it is based on attraction due to physical appearance. But love is a feeling that lasts forever and it is thought of a future together,also a realistic expectations of each other.There is a popular saying , "don't choose a woman from candle light".
ReplyDeleteIf you can't find a reason why you feel attracted to someone that's where the love lies, because true love or else unconditional love is totally rootles because if you attract a person because you love his or her looks, attitudes, voice and even if it's the way they carry themselves that attraction won't last when all those reasons changes so the love bases on reasons will change accordingly those reasons. So love for no reason, be clueless when you fall in love and that's how you fall in love unconditionally. Love the sake of Loving
ReplyDeleteCrush is the other way around you fall for all the reasons you have in your count to get attracted to someone
DeleteYes.Love and crush are two different things. Crushes can be thought as "Love At First Sight". First sight does not necessarily mean that when you see the person for the first time. It may be the case where you have noticed some feature of the other person for the first time and you have attracted to it. You do not know much about the person and you have not been with them for long. It is an amazing butterfly feeling in your stomach in which you are in day dreaming situation.
ReplyDeleteLove is different. In love, you know everything about the person, and you like everything about them. In love,reality becomes more beautiful than dreams. There is an unconditional care and responsibility towards the person you love and that feeling of care and
responsibility comes to you naturally.
Crush is like day dreaming and I think it is not serious. The person is really good in your eyes. It may fade away with the time or sometimes it may lead to love. In love you know every good and bad thing about the person and you still love them. It is really hard for you to live without this person. So as Crush lasts for a short time, sometimes your love can also be for a short time unless you understand and care the other person very well.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the difference between "I like you" and "I love you"? Beautifully answered by Buddha: "When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily." One who understands this understands life.
This is such a beautiful way of describing love and crush. It actually sums up everything. When you have a crush you would do anything to make them yours because you want them. But when you love someone you need them because you feel like it is hard to live without them. But unlike a crush, you will do anything for love. If it seems that you have to go in order for them to be happy, you will even do that no matter how hard it is. Because letting go is also a part of love.
Yes, crush and love can be identified as the two sides of a coin. At the very sight someone can have feelings towards somebody, and this can be simply described as having a crush. It is merely based on the factors like outward appearance, his /her behaviour and so on. There are no responsibilities and towards each other. But, to describe about love- it is a deeper emotion than crushes. We may have lots of crushes because it is a common feeling of all of us to be attracted to someone, but, love is completely different. It you love some it is essential to take care of his/her, make time for his/her, because, both the parties have responsibilities to make the other happier. As you have stated, the roots of love are, commitment, sacrifice, patience, care and dedication. So, don't live in a fantasy. Be mature enough to understand the real meaning of love.
ReplyDeleteYes,crush and love has two different definitions. We can have so many crushes at the same time but love is not like that.Crush lasts for a shorter period of time that we love their appearance or their behaviour. For example, we can get celebrity crushes. We love them after watching a film for their appearance or behaviour. But love is not like that. Love develop after associating them.You really do not know why you love that person. We everyday see many people outside and we may have crush on someone after seeing them but do we really love them? No. We forget about them in a shorter period of time but we cannot forget the people you love. That's the difference between crush and love.
ReplyDeleteYes, in addition to your argument, it is very important to mention about infatuation.It is mainly because, Infatuation can put you under a powerful spell, which limits your ability to think and reason properly. It can make you act recklessly and out of control. Although, it is prevailing in a very short period, it can affect a lot. Sometimes it may damage your existing relationships.
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ReplyDeleteYes. Crush and love are different. Crush is the infatuation you have or you are attracted to someone' s particular personality. Often you will not be able to share your feelings with the other in crush. It is mostly one sided and unrequited. Also you imagine what it is like to be with your crush. It is more of what you want to happen.Therefore, your feelings may also change if the person you are crushing on changes. So, crushing is a short-term feeling.
ReplyDeleteIn love, on the other hand, you know the other person's feelings, emotions, and desires well. You are not falling for one's appearance or behaviours in a love. You love them unconditionally and do sacrifices to make them happy. In a love the feelings are not bubbly like that of a crush, but you have more steady feelings which make your bond lasts forever.